What do English Majors do?

What does an English Major do?
1.  He corrects peoples' grammar.  Or, more likely, stiffens visibly when hearing things like, "Adventually, I could see myself owning a Range Rover."   This is due to the unintentional portmanteau of "additionally and eventually", and the type of vehicle to which he's ideologically opposed.  He has the same reaction when reading the word "definately" on Youtube user reviews.

2.  An English Major jumps into life after university cautiously, warily.  He gets caught up in conversation with non-profit recruiters at job fairs.  They assure him that even though he won't be paid for his work, he'll be "giving back" to the community.  He accepts this because his blood curdles in horror at words being bandied about at the next table.  Words like, "underwriter," "profit and loss statement," or "stock exchange."

3.  An English Major goes all soft inside when contemplating moving to Italy after graduation.  She's seen Under the Tuscan Sun, though it was a little middlebrow for her tastes.  She knows instinctively she'll be able to write her novel if only she's surrounded by olive trees, jolly neighbors and good food.